A big achievement of today was that I didn't let the thoughts and actions of other people bother me. Like honestly guys, if people don't treat you as an equal and give you the respect that you give them. Fuck them, my whole life. Literally my WHOLE life, well as far as I can remember anyway - which is still fucked, I have always done things for other people and it has gotten me nowhere. Like I'm sitting around with a thumb in my ass every night lol. I'm still scared btw guys, to go out and do things on my own and be alone but if sucking everyone's dick has gotten me nowhere, how bad can swimming in the deep on my own be eh? Jesus christ, even thinking about it is scary right now. Like diarrhoea is streaming down my pants ahah (wtf Chris).
Drop the bad people in your life, surround yourself with good trustworthy people and be a good and trustworthy person back to them. You can do it Chris, you're the one. Like in the Matrix, even though he ends up dying...yeah I don't know where I'm going with this ahah. The Matrix is so prime though, I love it :D
01/07/2013 - 11:50pm
Not sure if you'll look back on this night and remember what thoughts even ran through your head and why you feel the feels that you feel ahah. Probably not, let's be honest. Time flies, memories die. Sugar happens and donuts decay. That is the nitrogen cycle for you guys there lads. Fuark, I've done no chem homework tonight. Better pepper my angus
Let's be honest, the day that anyone stops living for the future and simply lives in the present without proceeding to be destructive as fuck to themselves and friends and family, they will be THAT fucking happy. It would be like taking a piss while on pure bliss. One day, I'm 100% sure I will achieve this. Just not sure if will be on the last day of my life laying my wrinkly ass on my death bed or 22 days from now (yeah that's a random number :P)
Some nights, I just want to write ahah so sorry if this post is dragging out that long. I'm trying to make it as interesting as possible :P. There are some people that read this blog, that I wish didn't know about it. Like I'm sure they're good people and all but we just don't get along and I'm tired of sucking their toes while they keep on kicking dirt in my eyes. It's pretty depressing how the people I want to read this blog don't read it anymore as well :/ These peeps, are the people in like my first every blog posts LOL I was so keen to give them the link and was so excited for them to read my blog like every day but that sure as diddly-hell didn't happen rofl. As everybody knows already, people do drift. Or maybe people just can't be as close as I want them. Reckon it's definitely a combination of both lads and ladettes :P I'm an emotionally attached cunt and people are unemotionally attached cunts, love it.
Recently got high as the Empire State Building and realised like so many people are fake. What some people deem as normal, others will deem as weird as fuark. I don't really know how I came across this thought but I know a lot of the wogs think the Asians behave socially awkward but I'm 100% sure the Asians also think that about the wogs LOL. It's like a double edged blade, I seriously do not know why I made that reference AHAHAHA. But yeah, I was whacked as a whack-a-mole and was just observing how people interact and shit and sometimes it got so awkward it was rofl-worthy LOL. But they didn't seem to give a fuck and went on with their lives.
Maybe life is full of these awkward moments and interactions but we as humans, are just meant to look past them and the other person/people is also meant to disregard it as normal and be off with it :P Been doing this ALOT more recently instead of always trying to chase up the conversation and finish it on a good note. Now that I think about it, I'M always the one to do this "finishing of the conversation" and put in the extra effort and shit LOL. It's actually quite beta tbh, when did you become such a beta little cunt Chris ahah.
Oh and recently saw like a little secret joke you did btw, it's pretty funny you motherfucker. I know this would've been a great conversation starter for yo ass ahah. Too bad no more conversation starters will be started again LOL. Maybe thats a good thing so I can finally move on and stop being a little bitch tittied motherfuckwit. Goddam, I have one graphic ass vocabulary ahah :P
I thought about making my blog private to blog about all this shit but I've worked way too damn motherfucking hard to get viewers and views up on my poor bum. Ain't gonna piss it away now ahah. Just means, I need to make my posts less girly and stuff which is better because I need to toughen up anyway. Get tough like a tortoise shell, dat shit is tough as a jar of overdue cookies :D.
Another one of my many girly wishes, is to be in a room with each and every single one of my readers that I have never met before in da real life. Then we could all sit down, have a nice lunch together and just chill and smile :) Nek minut, wish comes true and half of you guys are serial killers LOL, that's actually not funny at all :P
Oh and I need to stop being such a little girl and getting all feely with people because that's when they start leaving ahah. Just like what the quote in, "Looking for Alaska" said when Alaska was talking to Pudge. Been getting a lot more close to Joz and I just keep on talking sad stuff to her and spilling my emotions. I need to keep it all in and seriously scream into a pillow or blog it out on good ole "Better Days" LOL. I seriously don't wanna lose you right now or like get so close and think you are so much more than you are and then feel let down like a mofo. Which is entirely NOT your fault btw Joz ahah, you're a lad and a half and I wish I could be as happy as you were all the time. Like legit. I don't know why I'm even referring to her in first person in this paragraph ahah, she doesn't even know I have a blog and have had one for like 2 years now. Been contemplating telling her about it, but that would probably fall under the category of being a sad cunt and no-one, not ONE SINGLE person I have ever met every likes a sad cunt Chris. That is the worst kind of Chris any Chris could ever be.
I hope things between her and Josh stay really good! For some reason, those two are the reason why I'm happy alot. Like they think I am awesome people, this makes me feel good because they do not know my past and what I was like and who I use to be. They are just judging me simply on what I am now and that's just simply the best thing in the world. So many people today at school still think I'm a loser and a nerd because I was a loser and a nerd back in years 8, 9 and 10 ahah.
I constantly feel as if I'm building up all these friendships from like nothing when others have such a strong foundation already since they started making friends and talking in year 8. Me on the other hand didn't start this until like half way through year 10 LOL. Before that, I was known as the hermit bodybuilder guy who thought he was a sick cunt but was the biggest wank stain Adelaide High has ever seen AHAHAHA. Goddamn, I wish I could go back and tell myself to go out and be more of a mad cunt because it'd help you that much more.
It amazes me how much closer you can get to people though after one party, like the after party for example. Makes me feel that wanted and special ahah (strong homo). There's another party coming up this weekend with everyone from school and I'm pretty keen on attending but I'm also sort of scared for some reason. Know what I mean? Probably dat dere case of mild social anxiety kicking in I guess. Not sure, If I even have it ahah. Let's be honest, every teen at this age probably thinks they have this problem. Just gotta YOLO yourself through dat dere weekdays and weekends like a true mad dog.
I am feeling better than I was like say 2 months ago, like my head is screwed on properly for once and I'm not thinking really bad thoughts anymore. I mean, there are some nights ofcourse where I feel like shizza. As you readers can probably tell :P But I know longer feel as if I'm mentally handicapped in the white brain matters which is definitely a positive which should be rejoiced :D
I've editted this post that many times because I keep on coming back with more and more to write. It's getting late now and I should just sleep so ima finish it on a real good note. Real good note....See what I did there? I was a flaming homosexual for like 3 seconds is what I just did there AHAHAHAHA.
One of my friends was telling me this story today where he was mad dogged by his friends and now he no longer considers them as friends. It's so fucking bad how quickly terrible people can turn on you and become absolute fuck heads. Usually this friend can keep his cool and act like he is in ABSOLUTE control but today he seemed like a child. He lost his cool and acted like a distressed teenager does ahah, hadn't seen him like that in like forever and it was interesting to see. Hope his fuckhead ex-friends go get fucked in the ass by a bunch of buffalos and everything works out for him in the end!
Just copied and pasted these intimidating walls of texts onto microsoft word to check word count and it is at 1845 That is actually hectic. I really surprise myself sometimes with the amount of bullshit I can spill out when I'm having a troublesome night :P Alright in all seriousness now, GOOD NIGHT EVERYONEEEE MWAHS MWAHS xo to the x and then straight to the o.
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