Everyday when i wake up it feels like im peaking at this depression. Its pretty bad because i think of this particular thing all day, its the last thing i think of before going to sleep and its the first thing that pops up in my mind in the morning. I even dream about it on some nights lol :P, thats the definition of getting drilled. Probably deserve it though. I remember not too long ago after some serious conditioning on this matter i woke up and i didnt think of you, was actually the proudest moment of my life ahah, remember telling another SK about it and being all happy
The thing i hate about this most is that it branches out into other parts of my day, like the things that i do and going out is just to escape these depressing feelings and thoughts but it always seems to chase me and is there waiting when i get home just sitting in my little computer chair. Maybe i should stop trying to run and being a bitch and actually accept it, i tell myself this every single day but it never sticks.
Feel like im wasting my whole holidays being sad over this but i cant really help it... grrrrrr, i know any of this shouldnt matter now because its in the past but goddayum.
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