day 3

days are definitely getting better, sometimes things still hit me though but i manage. tryin to not be a mean person and stuff lately but every now and then i realise that sometimes you needa be that mean person in a joking way because its funny as heck and makes everyone have a good time. had a little study session in the senior centre today with some people in year 12. i find it so weird how people can get together like this and just have such a chill time like we all friends even though all of us hardly talk and hang. was srsly a fun time, makes me feel warm and happy inside. yea im a weirdo

its good because school puts me in these social situations that im learning from. in the holidays i had the same thing but i guess at school im forced to do it and its definitely helping, well so far anyway.....hopefully this trend continues. feeling alright now, had a nap before and just woke up and instantly felt bad for some reason, thought things were going to go downhill pretty quick but after talking to some people about things in general it was alright. felt the need to impress these people with the way i talk even ahah like how i use to but then i realised that i should just be a calm and collected person and everything worked out in the end :) im happy with that result.

also managed to talk to you today at school for the first time and held a decent conversation. wasn't even really a conversation but was definitely better than what we usually had. heaps happy with that progress. yea im an actual loser, like legit ahah. was also really nice to actually look at each other in the eyes, like not literally i mean. its a bit hard to explain but i guess we just "looked" at each other. idk what im even saying. hopefully tomorrow i have another chance some time in the wondrous school day

finished my homework just then, well my physics anyway. didn't really get around to chem because i cbs, now im just sitting here listening to some music, talking to some peeps, dwelling and blogging away my thoughts. definitely dont feel like leaving tonight, definitely not tonight....