Strals 18th part 2

Back at Strali's hotel it was arguably the shittest thing I've ever been through (srs). Was full of shit cunts in such a small environment and people doing their own thing. At one point I went over to the balcony by my own where nobody could see and just cried hard for an hour spinning a 5 cent coin in my hand. Was thinking about jumping so much but I seriously doubt that I would ever do something like that because it's just too full on. No matter how hard life is, if you give up. You will never get another chance.

After my crying ordeal I went into the corner of the balcony and called M. Lavs. We had a phat chat for about an hour just about people, how my night was and Breaking Bad. I went inside at the end of the call because it was too cold outside and experienced the shit cunt vibes. Wish it was warmer outside so I could just keep on talking to her all by myself. She made my night that much better for that hour that I was in a call with her :)

Had to end it soon though because she was getting tired and wanted to sleep :P After the call was over, things crashed hard. People were just being shit cunts and eventually I was like fuck this shit, seriously fuck everyone here, packed my shit and walked home.

This walk was so fucking long and took me literally, over 1.5 hours. Was so heavy carrying my bad but I was like fuck it, I need to get home and just be done with all this shit. Got home around 3:00am, got changed and lay in my bed. At this point things were so fucking low, I called Jasmine, and yeah. Haven't talked to her in months now and we talked and she told me that it doesn't bother her that we don't talk anymore. Someone who back then, didn't want me to leave her ever, leaves me and doesn't give two fucks. Fuck that for a joke. I was already feeling bad about the whole Joanne and the hotel situations and this just put it over the edge. I got crying for about 2 hours before I went to sleep. Worst night, no exaggeration.

I'm happy though that this happened, it's made me stronger and the next day I deleted her messages which I read pretty much everyday since the break up and ripped up all the photos I have of her. How can I expect to make new memories and be happy when I'm living on past ones. Similar to the quote, how do you expect to start a new chapter of your life when your still busy reading the last.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY THOUGH STRALI, HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD NIGHT!