day 5

im gone, for tonight ive given up on alot of things. never felt this bad before. i say that everytime...fuck this shit, i dont want this anymore. everyone thinks im sad because of losing you. ill admit thats a big part of it but the other part is why i want you back...i want to say i can leave and have someone tell me to stay right now. im forfeit to life now and forever, fuck all this shit. i deserve all this and im getting it just how ive always deserved it. fuck my life, fuck everything ive ever worked and will ever work on. fuck you chris, fuck you and your suitcase of absolute nothing except bull fucking shit, fuck you.

srsly chris u werent meant to amount to much from the very start. sorry mate that u wanted it all to happen but it didnt. youre done, give up after tonight. give up on everything. give up with friends, family, goals, aspirations. so you cant be disappointed. you and her arent going to work out of ur always going to be in the dump like this. god knows that working on your thing with her helps things out for you but it doesnt help both of you guys. im a fuckin train wreck and i want to just fuckin get the fuck out of this seat and life. im sorry everyone, im sorry....